Of course the Republican party needs hipsters!

I wrote something to that effect last year in the "Maroon," but no one listened, and Republicans remain clean-cut as ever. No, the Dems have all the cool people, including Mr. Rufus Wainwright, coolest of them all. How to make Republicans cool? Well, make the party less socially conservative, for a start. Then ban Christmas sweaters and similar Republican accessories. Next, find a really hip elephant to pose for the party's new logo.