Teen Vogue Readers: Small-nosed, self-mutilated, and consumers of whole grains

There's something a bit off about Teen Vogue. (While there may also be something a bit off about me buying Teen Vogue, we will leave that aside for the moment.)

Anyway...the thing that's off about Teen Vogue is not that the models are emaciated underage girls in clothing few people can afford. That's to be expected. I've never had much sympathy for those who claim that skinny models are the cause of all that's wrong with society. Models are supposed to look different from normal people, get over it. I mean, should watching C-Span make me want to kill myself because I'm not in the House of Representatives?

The problem is in the articles, which, I'd imagine, are not actually supposed to be read. But read them I did, only to discover that they are, in fact, instructions for how to be a more screwed-up twelve-year-old than one already is.

First, there's the article about nose jobs, which assumes that the default is to get one, and says, encouragingly, that it's also OK to keep the one you have. It is noted that many people have received "NJs" for their Bat Mitzvahs. So, in case you're reading Teen Vogue somewhere without Jews, now you can have a wonderful idea of what Judaism is all about. Ugh.

Then comes the article about cutting one's self, an epidemic that all the cool people are onto. Such celebrities as Angelina Jolie, Christina Ricci, and Johnny Depp, the magazine reports (complete with pics of the celebs in question) have all indulged. This information is, of course, designed to be of comfort to those girls who already cut themselves, and not to encourage those few left who don't to get with it, already. I have never seen the appeal of self-mutilation (sounds like an even worse version of shaving your legs, unpleasant enough as it is) but after reading the article...Seriously, though, the magazine takes a problem that, while unfortunate, is hardly universal, and turns it into an edgy trend.

And finally, there's the obligatory eat-less-you-fatsos, with the obligatory these-foods-are-ok-while-these-are-not checklist. Turkey comes up again and again as something that will help you lose weight, making one wonder if Teen Vogue has been brought to you by Turkey Farmers of America or some such. Whole grains (a myth, in my opinion...) figure, ahem, heavily as well.

(My own diet, which I have discussed over at the Quill and which has been the subject of much fanfare, is not mentioned even once.)